Boredom Runs Rampant

And leads me to youtube videos like these.










HELP ME.

God and Coffee are a Good Mix!

Once or twice a week I like to go to Woods and have my quiet time. I bring my Bible or another book, claim my seat, grab some drip coffee, and sit down for a few hours to see what I can learn. I can't concentrate when I'm at home, so if I don't meet anyone I know while I'm reading, I have no alternative but to focus! :) Today was great: I finally finished The Birthright by John Sheasby. Great book. It's all about how God sees me- not as a servant who's survival is dependent on how hard I try- but as His own child; the heir to His unending love and mercy, blessings, and unconditional acceptance. If you had asked me 4 months ago how I viewed my relationship with God I would have told you that I felt like I was walking on eggshells. One wrong move and that was it: I would be a complete, indefinite failure and that God was eternally unhappy with me and my heart. I knew that God loved me, but I had no idea why He would or should. I was uncomfortable addressing God as my Father because I didn't feel like I had the right. How could a great, massive, all-powerful God think it was okay for me to be so familiar with Him and not address Him with all the respect He deserves? It made me think if my relationship with my dad. He is one of the people I respect more than anyone and I am fortunate that I can talk to him as a good friend, but as I've grown up sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing how to address him. Should I talk to him as a daughter? A friend? Translate these questions to my relationship with God. I start to think of Him as sole-ly an authority figure: I feel the need to convince Him that I am trying to please Him so He will be proud of me. It must be hard to be a parent (those out there with kids may be laughing at this..). It's a heavy responsibility to know that the way you interact with your child will influence how your child sees God. I love kids, and even though I am not a parent yet, I have the similar impact on the kids I work with. I came to a conclusion from all this reading and thinking: I am finally beginning to learn about God's acceptance and love for me as His daughter and I hope to be able to translate that to the way I interact with others. I realize that this might sound ridiculous and idealistic, but God-willing I would ultimately want to be the kind of parent/sister/leader/daughter/friend that relates with others in the same way that my Father God continually relates with me (whether I choose to believe it or not):
Intimately,
Full of understanding and no trace of condemnation,
Proudly- despite my 'failures,'
Unconditionally forgiving my mistakes,
Continually inviting me to rest in His arms,
Consistently- regardless of how I distort, distrust, or misrepresent Him,
With a love that is indefinitely motivated by no reason other than because I am His daughter.

No strings attached, no conditions.
Forgiving all hurts without guilt or manipulation.
Being a trusted confidant that always has time to listen no matter how things sound.


That's how I want to live: mirroring to others the relationship God has created with me as I grow in the security that I am His dearly loved child and nothing I do can make Him love me less.


Thank you, John Sheasby.

Thank you, my Heavenly Father.

Thinking Too Much

I wish I was wrong about things as much as I was right about them.. Which is not too often.. And sometimes I wish I didn't think about things at all! :)