I hate making people cry.

I am imperfect and second guess myself. I will wonder what the wisest thing to do is when the choice is between a resigned friendship or me needing to defend myself. I think the thing I worry about most is that I'm not seeing things straight... and that any unhappiness is a result of my own selfishness. After wasted time over-thinking and over-analyzing I am reminded that my God is a God of Wisdom, Second Chances, Faithfulness, and wants to use all things to bring glory to His name. I am in His hands and He knows my heart's intentions.. even when they are hidden from outside eyes. He can use this to teach and transform me and bring me closer to Him. He will make something beautiful out of something that is imperfect.

When It's Grey.

It seems that the older I get and the more I experience the less black and white some things become... and you would think that after several successful and failed friendships these past years that I may now have a better grasp on what it means to be a true friend and how to recognize one when I see it. I thought that I would see what the Bible says about friendship so that I can see where my friendships measure up and keep myself reminded. ;)

"An honest answer is the sign of true friendship."
- Proverbs 24:26

"Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles?"
- Proverbs 17:17


"Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers."
- Proverbs 18:24

"A friend means well, even when he hurts you."
- Proverbs 27:6

"A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses."
- Proverbs 27:19

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens his friend's countenance."
-Proverbs 27:17



Some other thoughts.....

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person! Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out just as they are, chaff and grain together. Certain that a faithful hand will take them and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.
- George Eliot

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
– Unknown

A true friend is someone that knows the song of your soul, and sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words.
- Anonymous

It costs to be a friend or to have a friend. It not only costs time, affection, patience, love, but sometimes a man must even lay down his life for his friends. There is no true friendship without self-abnegation, self-sacrifice.
- Anonymous




And on a lighter note:

A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.

This is all I want:

The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch swing with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had."

Like the Waves.

Sometimes I think prayers are like waves... The tide goes out and you get on your knees pleading for wisdom and answers.. Then the tide comes in and you are overwhelmed over and over with the things He had in store for you all along. Each time is a surprise, each time is a reminder of His faithfulness.

It's Possible.

Maybe what we do when the doors open is as important as what we do while we wait for them...

Tea Bucket List.

Because I am a budding connoisseur of hot, scrumtrulescent beverages and now have access to drink-making contraptions... I have come up with a bucket list of tea drinks that I would like to try while I have the chance. This is going to be GOOD.

In no specific order....
1. Manchester Fog - steamed soy milk with a sugar free vanilla syrup in Earl Grey tea.

2. Seattle Fog - soy misto (½ water, ½ soy, steamed) with 2 pumps of vanilla syrup and one pump of hazelnut syrup, in 2 bags of Earl Grey Tea. Also known as the "No Wang's Special".



3. Dublin Fog- The same as London Fog, only substituting Earl Grey with Irish Breakfast Tea

4. Bangalore Fog - The same as London Fog, only substituting Earl Grey with Chai. Also known as a Bombay Fog.

5. Atlantic City Fog - The same as London Fog, only substituting Earl Gray with Rose Tea. (Created by Alexis V. Juneau at MCB Quantico, Quantico VA)

6. Winter Fog - A London Fog where you reduce the amount of vanilla and add clover honey to taste.

7. Maui Fog - The same as London Fog, only substituting vanilla for coconut syrup.

8. Tokyo Fog - The same as London Fog, only substituting Matcha-based Green Tea for Earl Grey.

9. London Fog- Earl Grey tea with steamed milk and vanilla syrup.

(I have not included names of drinks you find commonly in coffee shops.. because I have already had them!)

Labor Day Weekend.

1. Saw Ryan Styles pull into his driveway.
2. Blew a vuvuzela for the first time.
3. Coco Pebbles.
4. Message on Value... it comes from Jesus Christ.

God is Good.

This past weekend the phrase, "Change me, not my circumstances," was brought to mind several times as I spent time with tons of middle schoolers. I am so thankful for the opportunity to go and see God change and bring healing to the hearts of staff and youth alike. The theme of the week was "Where Do I Find My Value?" and let me say, the kids were not the only ones challenged to evaluate God's place was in their hearts. I have always tied my worth as a person to what I was doing/success in life. Having no goals and no direction meant that I was not a whole person and I have struggled to believe that when I am not "pushing forward" to do things I thought were important, then I am not as valuable. I founded my security on the approval of others instead of the knowledge that God has adopted me as His child; and that reason alone is truly all I need to be comfortable with the opportunities God has brought to me. If I am willing to put ALL my trust in Him then He is going to transform my mind and remind me that His opinion is ultimately the only one that matters, and circumstances are to remind me of my need for His love. God doesn't have to change my circumstances to make me learn and grow and find value... He can change my perspective. He can change all the kid's perspectives. He alone gives worth.... the next step is to commit myself to trusting Him and obeying whatever He has next in store for me.

God is Good.

What You Get.

What I lack in words I hope to make up with quality silence and dependability.

What I am wanting for in expression I hope to compensate with honesty and directness.

Where I miss speaking encouragement I attempt to offset with consistency and support.

When I don't initiate I aim to show that I value your time... but I am always ready to help.

When I don't verbalize my thoughts I'd like to prove that I am trying to find a way to fix your situation.


I don't want to ask for what you will not give me willingly. I don't want share what you don't want to know. If not sharing my thoughts means that I can encourage and build you up, then that's what I'll attempt to do.

I think I just show that I care a little differently than I used to.

Friendship.

Friendship should not cost anything... but I hope that whatever you invest in ours will be returned to you with interest.

I can't be reminded enough. It's NEVER enough!

Romans 8:1-4,15-17

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the just requirement of the law would be fully satisfied for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs.

Feliz Cumples, Amigo Mejor!

Today is the birthday of a dear friend who showed me the meaning friendship: He was the hands and feet of Jesus. Thank you, Felipe, for your faithfulness, kindness, and heart to serve others. I wouldn't trade my friendship with you for anything and I am so thankful the opportunity to get to know you. Happy, happy Birthday, Best Friend, and may God fill your day and the days ahead of you with the blessings that come from following God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Parabéns ao anos vinte e cinco!

-BestFriend-

Mystery Music

I always like it when a song pops up on my iTunes that I never heard! Today was a good day for mystery music.

Tea Tea Tea Tea Tea Tea Tea Tea Tea Tea.

When I first got home from England, I was drinking a minimum of 5 cups of tea per day. Since then I have cut back and all but replaced my tea addiction with coffee, it's initial predecessor.

And while I drink coffee religiously with much enjoyment, there are rainy days like today when all I want is a nice cup of black tea with cream and sugar. Aaaaaaaah.

God is Faithful.

I saw how He answered a few of my prayers today.... and threw in a few bonuses I didn't even ask for.

1. Flipside was awesome: I no longer feel like an outsider. I got to be myself and God provided opportunities to talk and encourage others. I am SO glad I went tonight. His timing is confusing, but ultimately the best.

2. Someone needed me today. It's so nice to be needed.. I am very privileged.

3. He reminded me that there are people who want to be my friend regardless of how I feel I am functioning as a friend. A simple "Hi, Allie," "Let's hang out," "Everything OK?" or "I haven't seen you around in a while!" can go a LONG way.

4. I found left-over refried beans in the fridge! Tacos for dinner. :)

5. Mom bought a bunch of peaches. I'm sure that eating 5 (or more) a day could be considered as "Overkill," but I don't really care at this point. I was hungry, and they were too readily available to alleviate the temptation that they caused.

6. My full tank of gas only cost $35.77 when I am VERY sure that it usually costs over $45. I have receipts to prove it!


Even though I have many unanswered prayers (Or at least cannot see how He has answered), I am reminded that God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good.

Gingerbread Coffee.

I had some Trader Joe's Gingerbread coffee last night... and it was AMAZING!!!!!!!! I'm going to try to make it myself. :)

12 oz Cup:

3 Tbsp Coffee Grounds
1 Tsp Ground Cinnamon
1/4 Tsp Ground Nutmeg
1/8 Tsp Ground AllSpice
1/2 Tsp Ground Ginger
1 Tbsp Molasses (optional?? We'll see...)

I can't be reminded enough!

I first heard this song at Teenstreet last summer in Oldenburg, Germany. What a great reminder for me that when this world is crazy and confusing, God is constant and faithful!

I can't have both.

Sometimes I think about how I want people to like who I'm becoming, but even more so I want God to like who I am... But I don't think I can pursue both. It's got to be all or nothing, and I've made my choice.

Because You All Should Know.

I sincerely dislike pictures that involve cupcakes! Not as in recipe pictures or magazines... but with people.


Not that it really matters...... :)

Hoy Me Voy

While driving into Bellingham this morning, I rediscovered a really nice song! Great sound, and if you know me well, you know that I love musica latina! REALLY LOVE IT. :)